1957, ka kiʻekiʻe o ke Kaua Cold. ʻO nā koa Soviet, alakaʻiʻia e Agent Spalco, hōʻeuʻeuʻo Marion Ravenwood, aloha lōʻihi o Indiana Jones, ke waihoʻana i ke kauka'ōlelo ma mua o kahi koho: ka hana a me ka make o Marion, aiʻole kōkua i kaʻike Soviet i ka huliʻana i Crystal Skull e kūʻai i ka pono o nā wāhine.
"E hoʻi"
Pam-pam-pam pam-pam-pam, pam-param-pam p-param-pam-pam. E noʻonoʻo, e hoʻi ana! He keiki keikiʻole o kahi hānai, a no ka lōʻihiʻaʻole he makahiki he kanaonokumamālima e mākaukau ana e kau i kona poʻo ma nā iwi ā o ka liona, ināʻo ia ka mea e hoʻokokoke aku iā ia i kahi'ē aʻe. Makemake mākou e'ōlelo,ʻaʻole mākou e kahaha ma nā pā, akāʻo Indiana Jonesʻaʻole i waiho i kahi pōhaku ma ko mākou mau pōhaku. Makemake au e'uho, e lele i nā kua o nā mea hoʻokipa a hoʻokipa i nā kānaka me kahi pop-corn:ʻo Professor Henry Jr., nā kaikamāhine a me nā hoʻolele!
ʻO kaʻoiaʻiʻo, hiki i ka nānāʻana,ʻo ka makaʻu hoʻokahi wale nō ka'enela leʻaleʻa o "Indiana", i loko o ke kiʻi e hōʻike nei - e hoʻoponoponoʻia ana e nā hui. Pehea eʻikeʻia aiʻo ia i ka wāʻelemakule a ma ka pākū nui? ʻAʻoleʻoeʻo ka unuhiʻana iā Gavrilov i kaʻumikumamākolu makahiki.
I ka nui o kaʻoluʻolu, ua makehewa nā kānalua a pau. Ua hoʻohālikeʻiaʻo Kinoman orgasm i mua loa o nā mele mua o ka "Malakiʻo nā Kaikoʻele", aʻaʻole ma nā hōʻailona e hoʻomaka ai, e like meʻelua mau lelo o ka wai e like me ka weheʻana i ka "Crusade Hope" (ʻo ka holoʻana o ka'ōwili maʻamau me kaʻoihana papahana, ai kekahi manawa me ka hana maʻalahi kahiko -'ōlelo lākou, akā e hoʻomanaʻo, no ke ahaʻo ia, aʻaʻole pēlā?), akā, i ka manawa i huli aku aiʻo Mount Paramount i kahi'āpana makani maloʻo o kekahi mea pale. Maʻaneʻi, ma ke ala, makemakeʻoe e loaʻaʻo Steven Spielberg ma ka lima e nīnau - pehea lā, ua hoʻohikiʻia e hana me kaʻole o nā kamepiula?
ʻO Spielberg, he mea pono e hoʻomaopopoʻia, lilo ia i pahu hopena: i ka manawa i loaʻa ai iā "Lethal Weapon" konaʻano pono'ī maʻamau, me ka hewa kūponoʻole -ʻo ke kōkua'ōpio - i kona iho quadricwell,ʻaʻole ia i nānā i ka nani a me ka nani e like me ka pahu muaʻo Riggs a me Merto. He mea ponoʻole ke'ōlelo, ma mua o ka hoʻomakaʻana o ka diabolue o Shai LaBeouf, uaʻikeʻiaʻo ia me kaʻikeʻole i nā bayonet, akā, me ka nui o ka huhū. ʻAe, he aha kaʻano hehena o ka hoa hana ma Indiana Jones? ʻAʻole, hiki iā ia ke hoʻomanaʻo i Shorty Round mai ka Temple of Doom, akā he hoa piliʻo ia, aʻo ka inoaʻo Dog Williams (ʻo Shayu ka inoa)ʻo ia nō ka hana a kahi pani pani'Āina.
Akā naʻe, hiki i ka pīʻani ke palekana i ka hōʻinoʻole. ʻAʻoleʻo ia wale nō, ua lilo ka Dog i kope kope o Marty McFly (viva 50's!), Ke hana nei i nā hana hoʻopunipuni, no laila i kēlā mau manawa i ka manawa e pāloʻi ai kahi pāhili a iʻole ka hanaʻino i ka'ōlohelohe, e hana ke kiʻi i kahi kūponoʻole a hoʻokuʻu wale i ke kūlana. ʻAe,ʻanoʻano like ia me ke kumuhana "Kissing off," inā makemakeʻoe.
Ināʻoe e noʻonoʻo pono pēlā, e nānā koke i ke kauka. ʻO wai ka mea āu i manaʻo ai eʻike i nā hakakā, inā hanaʻia ka hana i ka wā o McCarthyism? Hiding ma Peru, nā hana pākaha fascists a i hāʻule paha mai ka lani mai nā kānakaʻeleʻele? Ma mua loa iāʻoe,ʻo ka Red Threat ke kiʻi like pū like me ka Sicilian Mafia. ʻAʻole aneiʻoe e manaʻo uaʻikeʻole ka Italia a pau i kaʻano hana hewa Hollywood? He hiki paha ke hoʻohilahila i ka nani Cate Blanchett (me kaʻoiaʻiʻo, ka mea maikaʻi loa o ka pūʻulu), me ke kāpena hoʻokiʻekiʻe maikaʻi "Go!"ʻO ka Igo Zhizhikinʻo Rike a me ka laweʻana i nā'ōlelo kūkā nani e pili ana i ka hoa Comrade Stalin?
Eʻoi aku ka hewa ma George Lucas, nāna i hāʻawi i ka moʻolelo, aʻo ka hopena o ka mea i lilo iʻekolu mau mea mua. ʻAʻole,ʻaʻole,ʻaʻoheʻino aʻoi aku ka nui ma mua, he mea paʻakikī ke hele i waho o ka pōʻaiapuni maʻamau a nānā nui i nā mea pāʻani. ʻOiai, ma muli o ia, a hōʻike maila mai Cannes mai, kāheaʻo ia i ka pīkī "ʻaʻole pono e hoʻomau." Akā, he aha ka hewa maoli,ʻo ia me kahi hopena,ʻo "Indiana Jones" ke kū'ē i nā kiʻi hou o kēia manawa, aʻo ka hauʻoli o kaʻikeʻana i ka mea aloha i ka nānāʻana, ua like me keʻano o ke kaniʻana mai o nā pou o ke mele:
Pam-pam-pam pam-pam-pam, pam-param-pam p-param-pam-pam!