ʻAʻoleʻoe e mare no ka mea āu i aloha ai, akā no ka mea aloha iāʻoe, "wahi a ka naʻauao wahine kahiko. Manaʻoʻia ma kēia kūlana, e hauʻoli nā mea a pau:ʻo ka wahine -ʻo ia ka mea hiki ke hoʻololi i kāna kāne, e like me kona makemake, aʻo ia ka mea e pili ana iā ia e pili ana iā ia. Akā, e lokahi a hauʻoli paha kēlāʻohana. A pehea e koho ai iāʻoe iho he mea nui loa -ʻo ke aloha aʻo ke aloha paha?
PLUSES a MANAKE
Ma mua o nā kaikamāhine, akā,ʻaʻohe mea nāna i nīnau mai inā makemake lākou i nā mea hana e pili ana iā lākou aʻaʻole paha, i kēlā manawa, uaʻoi aku ko lākou hopohopo i kekahi. Eia kekahi laʻana, pehea ka nui o nā mea hānai bipi, puaʻa, nāʻaʻahu me ke kālā (ʻoiaʻiʻo, ua makemake ka kāne kāne i ka mea like e pili ana i ka wahine mare). I kēia manawa,ʻaʻohe mea maʻamau i ka manawa e mare ai lākou i nā puʻu kālā (ʻaʻole nā lūlū i ka hoihoi hou aku), akā, he wehewehe koʻikoʻi kēia. I kēia mau lā, ke kamaʻilio nei mākou i kahi'ē aʻe, e pili ana i ka mea nui loa -ʻo ka nui o ke alohaʻole (ke aloha kekahi, aʻo ka mea'ē aʻe wale nō eʻae iā ia ke aloha, i ka wā e honi ai kekahi a me ka mea'ē aʻe e kau i ka papalina) no ka maleʻana. E nānā i nā hopena a me nā kūlana o iaʻano pilina.
He aha ka hewa e hūnā ai,ʻo mākou nā wāhine ke palaki wale keʻike mākou aia he kanaka aloha iā mākou. A inā pahaʻaʻole kahi mea'ē aʻe iā mākou, ua maikaʻi nō ia - ke piʻi nei ka manaʻo pono'ī! Ke hoʻololiʻia neiʻaʻoleʻoe i loaʻa kekahi mea, me nā paona houʻelua, kahi'ōhumuʻana a me ka maopopoʻole kahi hōʻike photomodel. ʻO ka heleʻana mai o ka Naita,ʻo kahi'ōhule, momona aʻelemakule, e noho ana i kahi noho'āina me kona makuahine, akā, no ke alohaʻole a me ka mākaukau e hoʻokō i kekahi o kou mau kuko, makemakeʻole, e like me kēia Lede nani. Hāʻawiʻo ia i nā pua, alakaʻi i nā mea keaka, ai kekahi manawa - inā he lawaiʻa - a hāʻawi i ka poem. Aiaʻo ia ma ka pihi mua a nānā iāʻoe me nā maka pono,ʻaʻole e koi ana i kekahi mea. E, e haʻi mai iaʻu,ʻo wai ka mea makemakeʻole? No laila, e hoʻolālā mālie mākou no ka mea kūpaʻa a me ke aloha iʻole e hana hewa a ma lalo o ke kalaunu e hele ai - aia ma kona mau lima a hiki i ka wā e hoʻomaha ai (keʻole,ʻo ia,ʻaʻole e haʻi mua). Akā, he mea kupanaha i ka nānā muaʻana,ʻo nā mea a pau i makemakeʻia e ka mea i waeʻia ma mua o ka maleʻana, ma hope o kekahi manawa e hoʻomaka ai ka huhū. A e lilo i mea hoʻonui i ka hana.
Ua aʻo mai au mai koʻuʻike iho,ʻo kaʻaeʻana iaʻu e aloha me ka ukuʻoleʻia aku,ʻo ia ka hōʻeha kūpono. Noho mākou me kaʻu kāne iʻehiku mau makahiki i kēia manawa,ʻelua kāua, a he mea nani nā mea a pau. Akā,ʻaʻole loa au iʻike i kona manaʻo nui -ʻo ke aloha wale nō. ʻOiaiʻo ia i mua, a i kēia manawa ua huhūʻo ia, i ka manawa a mākou e kaʻawale ai no hoʻokahi hapalua lā, e mālama anaʻo ia iaʻu, e like me ke kamaliʻi, e'ōlelo ana i nā hua'ōleloʻoluʻolu. Wahi a nā kaikamāhine he naʻaupō wau, aʻaʻole maopopo iaʻu koʻu hauʻoli, a ke huhū nei lākou iaʻu, no ka meaʻaʻole lākou e manaʻo e inu i ka "hapalua" a hele i ka hema, aʻo kekahi o lākou e hiki ke hāpai i ko lākou mau lima. Aʻo kaʻu, mai kahiʻaoʻao āu i nānā ai, he maikaʻi loa nā mea a pau he mea pono loa kēia. Akā,ʻo ia ke kumu e kaumaha ai! Ua maopopo iaʻu he mea pono no ia -ʻoiaʻiʻo ke aloha, akāʻaʻole he mahalo no ke aloha!
A i keʻano likeʻole,ʻaʻole maopopo i ka mea e pono ke aloha houʻia: he kāne a he wahine paha. Hoʻokahi mea i maopopo-he kūpono i nā meaʻelua. ʻO ka wahine e maopopo ana he mea nui ke aloha iā ia, akā, piliʻo ia i kāna hoa e like me keʻano kūʻai, a ke hāʻawi pinepine neiʻo ia iā ia i ka huhū i mua o kāna kāne, a he mea hikiʻole ke alakaʻi i kahi maʻi nui. Ke piʻi nei kekahi kanaka mai kaʻili, e ho'āʻo ana e lanakila i ke aloha o kāna mea i koho ai, akā i ka hoʻihoʻi mai, heʻoluʻolu wale nō ia "no ka lokomaikaʻi nui. ʻO ia kona hoʻokaumahaʻana, a lilo ke aloha iā ia i ka uluʻana i kēlā me kēia lā i ka huhū a me ka inaina i ka hoa: "Ua hana wau i nā mea a pau e leʻaleʻa ai iā ia, akā,ʻaʻole lawaʻo ia! He aha hou kāna mea e pono ai? "No laila, i loko o ia mauʻohana, he mau pale mau, hakakā, hikiʻole keʻae like a me ka luhi.
STEPPITSYA - PICKED?
Wahi a psychologists, "hāʻule i ke aloha"ʻaʻole hiki i nā manawa a pau. Aʻoi aku ka nui, hiki i nā hihia koʻikoʻi. ʻO ka hananaʻana o nā hanana i ulu i lalo o nā hiʻohiʻona'ē aʻe. I hoʻokahi o ka hihia (ʻoi loa),ʻo ka likeʻole o nā kuʻikahi, me ka hoʻowahāwahā i kekahi i kekahi. A no ka nohoʻana me ke kanaka nānaʻoe e huli,ʻaʻole ia he mea maʻalahi. I ka hopena, i ka hopena, ua launa pūʻia meʻelua ma keʻano i hikiʻole iā lākou ke aloha i kekahi i kekahi, a ke ho'āʻo nei lākou e kūkulu i nā pilina ma keʻano pilina. Ua like kēia me ka'elike ma waena o nā mea naʻau hoʻomanaʻo e hoʻoholo i nā pono o nā keiki i ka manawa mua, a no lailaʻaʻohe mea e wāwahi ai i kaʻohana. Inā paha, i kēia manawa,ʻaʻole e like ka nui o nā keiki i ka wā e haʻalele ai lākou (ʻoiai he mea nui nō ia, no ka hiki i kahi keiki ke kope i keʻano o nā pilina makua i kona wā'ōpio), akā, hiki iāʻoe ke kapa aku i ka pilina o iaʻano a me ka hauʻoli?
Eia hou - e hoʻomanaʻo iā Freud - mai hoʻopoina i ka pili kāne, kahi mea nui o ka hauʻoli o kaʻohana. I loko o nāʻohana i aloha ai kekahi i kekahi, heleʻole ia me ka'ōleloʻole i kaʻaeʻoleʻana i ka pili aloha ma kaʻaoʻao. A inā ma ka mare ka mea aloha, aʻo kekahi -ʻaʻole pēlā, aʻo ka nīnau "e loli aʻaʻole hoʻi e loli" ua maʻalahi ka maʻalahi. ʻO kahi wahine e noho nei me kahi kāne alohaʻole, hiki ke hāʻule hopeʻole i ke aloha i kekahi a alakaʻi i ke ola lua no nā makahiki he nui. E aʻo aku i nā keiki a hele aku i kā lākou kūʻai me ka hapalua o ke kānāwai, a me ke aloha a me ka moeʻuhane no kekahi mea'ē aʻe. ʻAe, a ua nāwaliwali ke kāne i ka nānāʻana i nā nalu a me ke aloha mai kāna wahine mai, hiki iā ia ke hele i kaʻaoʻao, e ho'āʻo ana e hōʻoluʻolu iā ia iho i nā lima o ka nani mua loa. A inā i ka wā mua, e like me he mea kūpono ka holomua - a ua piha nā'īlio hae, a ua palekana nā hipa, - a laila e hiki mai ana kahiʻike e hikiʻole ke laweʻia iʻelua'āpana o ka hauʻoli. Eia kekahi -ʻaʻohe loaʻa ke aloha ma kaʻaoʻao a ma kaʻohana paha. Ma hope o nā mea a pau,ʻoiaiʻo ka hapa maoli o nā hapa heʻelua a me ka hāʻawiʻana i ke kālā holoʻokoʻa, ke ola nei ke kānāwai i kona mau kānāwai. A, e like me ka poʻe psychologists, hiki i ke kanaka ke hoʻopau i kona ola a pau ma waena o ka makemake nui a me ka hopohopo e pono ai, e loaʻa ana i kona pono pono'ī. A hiki i ka manawa eʻikeʻo ia i kāna makemake maoli, aʻaʻoleʻo ia e koho.
KA PALAPALA
No laila,ʻo ka "mea makuahine" o ka meaʻai no ka hauʻoli o kaʻohana - no kaʻaeʻana iāʻoe iho e aloha, aʻaʻole hoʻi e aloha iā ia iho -ʻaʻohe hope loa. Ināʻaʻoleʻoe e aloha, e hao wale i nā mea a pau. Ma hope o nā mea a pau,ʻo ke aloha, he kūlana kūikawā kūikawā, a hiki ke hoʻohuli i kekahi wahineʻino i loko o ka nani nani me kaʻole o ke kōkuaʻana mai nā meaʻonika a me nā mea hana hana. Ma ke aloha i ka euphoria, loaʻa ke kanaka lanakila: ua hakakā a pau, ua hana nā mea a pau. Aʻo ka poʻe e noho puni ana iā ia, hoʻomaka lākou e hana lokomaikaʻi iā ia, no ka mea, he mau mea maikaʻi loa ka manaʻo o ke kanaka i aloha. Ma hope o nā mea a pau, E.E'ōlelo pololeiʻiaʻo ia, "ʻo ia ke aloha i ka meaʻoiaʻiʻo, aloha i ke ao holoʻokoʻa."
A ma mua o kou hāʻawiʻana i kou lima (e pili ana i ka naʻau hilahilaʻole) i kahi kanaka alohaʻole, he mea haneli ia no ka noʻonoʻoʻana a no ka noʻonoʻo i nā pono āpau. ʻOiaiʻo ka makahiki ma luna o nā kuʻekuʻe wāwae, a'ōlelo mai koʻu makuahine iāʻoe: "Mai halaʻoe,ʻo kou hope hope kēia",ʻoi aku paha ka maikaʻi e kali a hiki i ka hikiʻana mai o ka manaʻo maoli aʻikeʻoe he mea nui e aloha a aloha paha i keʻano like. ʻO kaʻoiaʻiʻo,ʻo ka aloha i loko o ia ihoʻaʻole ia e hōʻoiaʻiʻo i ka pilinaʻohana maikaʻi, akā,ʻikeʻoe, he mea kēia. ʻO kēia ke kumu. Akāʻo kāu mea e kūkulu ai ma luna o ia mea,ʻo ia wale nō ka mea e hilinaʻi ai.